My Brother's Boyfriend
by SYNdicate 930
Summary: AU. Being in love with your childhood best friend, who also just happens to be your brother's boyfriend, is just asking for trouble. Especially if he's a clueless bastard; something is just bound to go inexplicably wrong. Spamano. HIATUS (info on why on profile)
1. Strange Feelings

**Title:** My Brother's Boyfriend.  
**Author:** SYNdicate 930.  
**Summary**: AU. Being in love with your childhood best friend, who also just happens to be your brother's boyfriend, is just asking for trouble. Especially if he's a clueless bastard. Spamano.

**Note:** This is a total rip off one of my DRRR! fics with big changes on my other account I've pretty much abandoned orz. Since **Building Blocks and Condom Boxes** is a super derpy fic, I thought I'd post something sadder to even out my profile lol. And because google says it's real different in a lot of countries, in Canada (or at least in my province), elementary is kindergarten-grade 5, middle school is 6-8, and high school is 9-12.

This is supposed to be an angsty fic (which is a genre I'm not used to since I've pretty much been dicking around with **Building Blocks**), so please tell me what you think?

**Chapter 1 – Strange Feelings. **

Growing up, Lovino Vargas and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo were best friends who met at the ages of four and five on the playground at school. Though they both had different sides as to how it all went down, the main idea of the story was that Antonio jumped in to defend Lovino after seeing the latter get beat up by some of the older students during recess. While Lovino argued that he was more than capable of handling the situation himself, Antonio countered with how utterly helpless the fight was on the other's side, considering how tiny the Italian was as a kindergarten student. After getting a little beating himself from the fourth graders a few years old than Antonio, the two boys found themselves in an almost inseparable friendship that bloomed over the years.

They went to elementary school, and spent every recess together on the playground. A lot of the time, they would play with some of Antonio's friends in his grade, too, and, whether or not he would have liked to admit it, Lovino created close ties to them as well, but never anything as meaningful as the one he shared with the cheerful Spanish boy who sported a missing tooth after the incident. It was hard to admit, but Lovino had an awful time making friends.

Unlike Antonio, who everybody loved and adored throughout elementary, middle school, and high school, Lovino repelled more people than he attracted, friendship-wise and romantically. But he never minded. All he had ever needed was Antonio, and he was fine. Sometimes Lovino would worry about being too reliant on someone as popular as Antonio, but would always be reassured that he was depended on just as much. The relationship was reciprocal, and Lovino was childhood friends who grew up living just down the street from one another, they spent a large amount of time together. It was almost as if they were joined at the hip when they weren't in class.

Because Lovino's father had left his mother, who died giving birth to his brother the year following his birth, coincidentally falling on the same day Lovino was conceived on, he lived with his grandmother, Aryanna. The hardworking elderly woman only made enough money to take care of Lovino, which forced his younger brother to live with his grandfather after he was born. The two grew up knowing each other, but had never met until they were in their teens.

Just a couple houses down, Antonio lived with his adopted parents, a beautiful young Hungarian woman with a smile and demeanor as warm as her big heart and her husband, an Austrian man with a breath taking knack for music. Antonio's birth parents had arrived to Canada from Spain, too poor to take care of him, and put him up for adoption the moment he born. Sometimes Antonio would ask his adopted parents about his real parents, but never got much out of them.

Their home lives were one of the things the boys had in common; they grew up never meeting or really knowing about the people who brought them into the world. But, in their own little ways, it never bothered them much. Antonio was too happy to even have people that cared about him, and Lovino never understood the sadness in losing someone he hadn't even known in the first place. When Lovino thought about his mother as he looked through the old album's his grandmother stored away in the upstairs closet, he always imagined her to be as wonderfully sweet and loving as she was beautiful. He wondered if he would have turned out differently if she was around to take care of him.

Every day after school, the Ying-Yang pair would walk home from school together, sometimes with Antonio's friends, Gilbert and Francis, and hang out for a bit at the Spanish boy's house until it was time to go home. Gilbert and Francis lived a couple minutes away, so they would usually hitch rides from their parents, who would pick them up when it got too dark outside, while Antonio always walked Lovino down the street, hands clasped together firmly in childish innocence.

Lovino would always insist on being able to make the two minute long trip down the sidewalk himself, but to no avail each time. He also insisted on being able to hold his own hand, but Antonio insisted. From the day they first met, to high school, Antonio never missed a chance to walk Lovino home hand in hand. The Italian boy guessed it was a result of having been beat up that one recess. It must have triggered something in the other boy the same way something seemed to click in Lovino whenever that British boy in Antonio's grade bothered him as a child. But, being the overly happy person he was, Antonio took the blonde boy's torment with a smile. It was hard for Lovino to wrap his head around. The bastard was always smiling through everything.

Later on in middle school, Lovino found himself jealous over Antonio's sudden bodily changes. He remembered being around the same height, until he showed up to school half a foot taller, standing up to his shoulder instead of his hairline.

Also, he recalled an incident happening on the night before Christmas in the sixth grade. Because they didn't have much family to spend the holidays with, Antonio and his parents would come over to spend it with Lovino and his grandmother. So one night, before they were to come over, Antonio called Lovino up to ask if he wanted to try some of the cookies he made with his mother. The deep baritone on the other line was frightening to Lovino, who hadn't realized the sudden drop that occurred in his friend's voice, and hung up immediately.

This left him not only shorter, but sounding like a girl in comparison to his tall and manly (or at least as manly as a thirteen year old could get) friend. It didn't help that Antonio was always more athletic than Lovino either. But the boy made up for his lack of physical ability with incredible academic scores, which often lead him tutoring Antonio in every other subject that wasn't Gym. Even when Antonio had left Lovino behind in middle school to start high school, the latter still found himself tutoring the boy.

Sometime during their middle school years, Antonio found himself noticing girls more and more than he used to. He would talk about girls he found cute to Lovino in increasing frequency as months passed at the time. Though the age gap between the two boys was a mere year and couple of weeks, Lovino had yet to take an interest in the female population, but listened like the good friend he was anyway.

It felt a little strange, though. Antonio, along with the other boys at their school, began noticing all these girls, while Lovino still hadn't. It made him wonder if there was something wrong with him. He hadn't even had his first crush yet while Antonio went through that awkward dating in middle school phase. There was this one girl in particular that Lovino remembered Antonio growing found of.

Her name was Laura. She was a pretty girl of Belgian descent in Antonio's grade with short blonde hair with a slight wave, large green eyes, and mirthful personality. Antonio thought they were a match made in heaven, seeing as how their similar personalities seemed to click quickly and effortlessly. Laura was Antonio's first ever date. After the date went down, Lovino remembered how tired he was at school the next day after having spent the entire night on the phone with Antonio, who went on and on and on about how wonderful it was. As he listened on the other line, nearly falling asleep as it hit half an hour past 3:00 AM, he wondered what it felt like; to be so attracted and wrapped up in a person like that. He imagined it must have felt rather nice.

The two dated for quite some time after their first meeting, and became boyfriend and girlfriend, though it did not last long just like most middle school relationships. Even though she was a very sweet girl, with a kind nature and good intentions, she ended up breaking things off with Antonio one day after school. When he asked why, she said it was because she began to feel nelgected on account of his constant putting Lovino in front of her.

He sulked for a bit, but was fine when all was said and done. Secretly, Lovino was glad to hear about the two splitting up. Lovino had practically grown nocturnal with all their late night talks on the phone about the girl, and was glad to see his sleeping pattern return to normal. Not only that, but it wasn't until after Antonio told him about the break up that he realized how jealous he was of their relationship.

Whether it was because he was so used to being the one Antonio relied on and went to most, or the fact that he too began wanting to start dating, he wasn't sure. But he was rather relieved to see he was picked over her. And that's how the rest of Antonio's relationships had ended. They'd get fed up with Antonio's clinginess when it came to Lovino, and become angry every single time he chose the Italian over them. But this never seemed to stop girls from trying to be the one Antonio favored over Lovino.

There was this one time when Antonio left Lovino to attend high school while the latter was still stuck in middle school, that the former met another girl who made the boy choose between spending time with her on their one month anniversary or ditch her to attend Lovino's birthday, that just so happened to both fall on the same Saturday. Lovino didn't know what she was expecting because Antonio had made quite the reputation for himself as the guy who had and would always put his best friend first. It was no surprise that she dumped him because of Antonio's choice, really.

That year spent without Antonio at school with him was pretty lonely for the Italian boy, though would never admit it. Antonio knew deep down, though. Luckily for Lovino, he made friends with a polite Japanese boy and tough looking German boy just a year younger than him. They became good friends, but they were nowhere near as close to him as Antonio. Their friendship quickly came to an end after Lovino entered the same high school as the Spanish boy.

For all the times Lovino had ever been there for Antonio and his constant happiness and quick sulking over relationships he had jumped in and out of without much thinking, Antonio found himself as Lovino's shoulder to cry on the weeks following the death of his grandmother.

Aryanna had died of natural causes at the age of 78 years old. Lovino wasn't sure what exactly it was considering her numerous conditions that never seemed to stop her from living each day as if it were her last, but the doctors had come to the conclusion that she had had a stroke while Lovino was away at school, and gave the boy their deepest apologies.

Being only fifteen without any real family around, he found himself helpless with no one to turn to but Antonio. He was still considered too young to obtain a job in his city, so working for money to give his beloved grandmother a funeral was out of the question, and this upset the boy incredulously. Somehow news had reached his grandfather, who lived in a neighboring city just a couple hours away. One day he showed up and took care of everything. Lovino noted it was then that he first met anyone on his father's side. Along with him was his younger brother, Feliciano Vargas.

The two boys bore striking resemblances to one another, even right down to the strange curls in their hair. Their grandfather had a little trouble telling them apart despite having raised Feliciano himself, but Antonio always found himself able to differentiate the two. After all, the differences were in the colors of their eyes and slight darkness in Lovino's hair. Not to mention the never ending frown Lovino wore that countered Feliciano's blinding smile and preppy personality.

During this period of mourning, Lovino stayed with Antonio and his parents. He had been offered to stay and live with his grandfather and brother, but refused immediately. He was devastated over the death of the only motherly figure in his life, whom he cared for sincerely and deeply, and the thought of leaving Antonio as well was too much at the time. When said boy asked why hadn't moved in with his grandfather, Lovino had lied his way out of it. He didn't want to make himself appear more dependent on Antonio than he was of him. Though couldn't remember he said, it was enough to satisfy Antonio's curiosity.

Following the small funeral a week or two after, Lovino's grandfather approached him with surprising news. The man said he would be moving into his grandmother's house with Feliciano in order to take care of both of them without having to take him away, seeing as how opposed he was at the prospect of leaving. His grandfather figured it was because of all the memories of him and his grandmother it held, while in reality, it was mostly a result of not wanting to lose anyone else important to him as well.

A lot happened during this time, but it all seemed to flash before Lovino's eyes in a quick blur as he found himself walking down the stairs of his house into the kitchen for some breakfast a couple of months after the death of his grandmother, and sudden arrival of his grandfather and brother. The house the three lived in was a little old, but in great shape; a little small, but incredibly cozy and comfortable, containing hundreds and hundreds of fond memories of Lovino's childhood.

On the dark wooden siding beside the door of his bedroom were little ticks and marks he and his grandmother made as he grew up, recording his height twice a year up until the day she left. Every time he looked at it, his heart would clench in unexplainable pain. There were moments where he would look at them and mope around, and other times late into the night where he would cry himself unconscious. He loved her the way he knew he would have loved his mother.

Looking around at the lower half of the house, Lovino was always glad to see that his grandfather hadn't change anything since moving in. The TV and couch were in the exact same places, the shelves and books were left untouched, the piano still resting beside the stairs and overall familiarity intact. When the two moved in, the only things they brought with them were their clothes and a handful of belongings. When Lovino asked why they hadn't brought more stuff with them, his grandfather answered with, "This house is a representation of Aryanna, and I don't want to take her away from you."

It was cheesy sounding, but kind of sweet in that mushy way that made Lovino happy.

Though the living room was a little small compared to the pictures of the house Feliciano and his grandfather lived in, the impressive kitchen and quaint upstairs made up for it. A soft yawn ripped past his lips, but he didn't bother to cover it as he walked past his brother. The younger boy was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal watching some Saturday morning cartoons on one of the various kiddie channels.

Feliciano was only a year younger than him, but seemed to be much more successful despite his blatant stupidity. Feliciano seemed to have had inherited all the things his grandfather favored; the fact that he resembled him more than Lovino did and his apparent artist talent. Lovino didn't really understand why the old man was so proud of Feliciano. Sure, he could pick up a brush and make amazing paintings. Woopdy-fucking-doo. Lovino wanted to see Feliciano try to solve algebraic problems without a calculator or recite all the bones in the axial skeleton by heart in order from top to bottom.

"Good morning, _fratello_!" Greeted Feliciano as his cartoon paused to play some equally mindless advertisements. Lovino was in his line of sight, whipping up a quick breakfast, when the boy turned around to look into the kitchen behind him. "Did you sleep well?"

Truthfully, the night had been awful. With a small frown, Lovino answered, irritated, with gritted teeth, "No, I didn't. You and your stupid screaming down the hall kept waking me up. The fuck did I tell you about watching those stupid scary movies at night?"

"I couldn't help it! That little girl looked so cute, how was I supposed to know she would end up killing the entire family!?" His brother replied in horror.

"Whatever. So where's the old man at?" Lovino asked as he returned to the living room with a bowl of his own cereal. He made a motion with his hand to signal Feliciano to make room on the couch for him. He moved to the other end, eyes never leaving the television screen, as Lovino hopped onto the broken in sofa.

Glancing at the clock, it was about 10:00 AM, and the old geezer was supposed to go drop Feliciano off at his stupid art class downtown. Apparently he had been taking classes since he was old enough to pick up a brush, which seemed to explain his incredible paintings, some of which they decided to hang around the house. Slurping down the milky remains of his bowl, Feliciano tilted his head thoughtfully. "I think he might be asleep still. I'll go wake him up in a bit."

"Okay, good. Make sure you tell time I'm going out." Instructed Lovino as he scarfed down his cereal. If he ate any faster, Feliciano was sure he would've choked.

"Going out with Antonio again?" Lovino nodded. "I wonder what he's like. I've seen him around when he comes over, but I've never gotten the chance to talk to him. What's he like?"

Because of all the time they'd spent together, he only knew Antonio as Antonio. Finding words to describe the teen proved to be difficult as he mulled the thought over silently, chewing slowly on his frosted flakes. It was only a few seconds later that he gave up with a small shrug. Quickly finishing his breakfast as he ignored his brother's annoyingly airheaded nature, Lovino brushed his teeth in the bathroom upstairs, and left as Feliciano went to wake up their sleeping grandfather wondering why it was so hard to put into words someone he'd known better than the back of his own hand.

—**-—**

October was coming to an end as Halloween drew nearer and nearer. Walking down the street, Lovino noted the festive decorations that hung about the house across the street and the ones on his side of the downhill road. Halloween seemed to be a big deal in the area as a result of the large amount of families that had moved into the neighborhood in recent years. Lovino's house even wore a few spooky decorations like yellow 'keep out' tape and fake tombstones on the small front lawn.

Colorful leaves crunched under Romano's beat up converse as he strolled down the empty pavement, hands in his pockets and head in the clouds as he thought to himself. He'd been thinking it over for quite a while, and it was only until he had tried to put Antonio into words that Lovino realized maybe his friendly feelings were a littler friendlier than they were when he was four. Since Antonio's second girlfriend or so, Lovino had caught himself seeing the other boy in a different light that felt much different than the light little Lovino saw little Antonio in, and uncomfortably close to the way current Antonio saw his girlfriends. Err… _Ex_-girlfriends.

He wasn't sure how exactly it'd started, but he was sure that the jealously that flared around in his stomach like untamed fire when Antonio would be so damn romantic and affectionate to girls instead of to him was one of the first warning signs. Then again, his changing feelings could have started much earlier. After all, Lovino had never experienced what 'crushing on' someone felt like, so for all he knew, he could have been in love with the bastard for all these years and not know.

Lovino sighed heavily to himself. Though he excelled in his studies at school and other academic endeavors, his brains seemed to deflate the moment they entered the territory otherwise known as 'feelings.' Lovino liked to call that certain area _'the land of no return', _seeing as all the TV he had ever watched taught him that emotions only got in the way of everything else. It was probably because of his lack of real emotions like the ones on TV that made him so smart. His theory made sense since Antonio was always so involved with his emotions, that he did poorly in comparison to Lovino, who only ever worried about his studies and said teen.

"Man, this shit doesn't make sense…" Lovino grumbled under his breath as a soft autumn breeze picked up.

Maybe he'd watch some sappy Italian dramas later or something. It was through some stupid teen drama that truly provoked his questioning his feelings for Antonio, anyway. The main character's storyline, which told the tale of a young girl who eventually fell in love with her childhood best friend without realizing, was horrifically similar to Lovino's history with Antonio, so he couldn't help but connect similarities and compare differences. So, when the girl began to question her feelings, so did Lovino.

Following the stone pathway that cut through Antonio's lawn, he looked over to the jack-o-lanterns that sat mischievously on the cement front steps of his house. There were two sitting across from each other; one with a flower stuck to its side and the other with a leaf sticking out of the top of it curling upwards. It reminded him of Antonio's parents, Elizabeta, who usually wore flower-like accessories in her hair, and Roderich, whose hair possessed a strange cowlick similar to Lovino's long curl.

Lovino gave the doorbell a quick ring and waited patiently. In a matter of seconds, he could hear Antonio talking on the other side of the door as he bid his parents goodbye. Through the large blurred window, Lovino saw Antonio standing on the other end as he pulled on his shoes.

"Good morning, Lovi!" Shouted Antonio mirthfully as he came flying at said boy the moment the door opened. With his hands in his pockets as Antonio's long arms came to wrap around him, he struggled to free himself of the Spaniard's tight hold. "Awh, don't be like that, Lovi!"

"L-Let go, dumb bastard, or I'll leave!" With a small pout, Antonio complied. Lovino swore he felt himself about to pout as well at the loss of contact, but stopped himself before it was too late. It didn't make much sense to him. This wasn't the first time he'd been wanting Antonio to hug and touch him more.

"Oh, my heart! It hurts! Lovi doesn't want to spend time with me! I might as well go up into my room and never come out again!" Cried Antonio dramatically. He made a move to go back inside, but Lovino caught his wrist and made him stay. Lovino hadn't realized how much force he had put into such a small action, for Antonio found himself stumbling forwards into the Italian.

Stepping back, Antonio shot the shorter boy a toothy grin. "So you do want me to stay!"

Lovino stopped to stare for a second as he let go of his wrist. Come to think of it, not only had he wanted more physical contact, he'd been craving more time with Antonio and finding him to be much more charming as days passed now, too. And it was over the littlest things! Just the other day, Antonio had fallen asleep in English and had somehow found a way to make snoring silently against the desk attractive. Even the way he jumped out of his seat as the teacher caught and yelled at him for sleeping in class was attractive.

It was strange, to say the least.

As he looked over Antonio's flawless tan complexion, bright smile, boyish features, and messy hair that seemed to fall over his forehead and cup his face perfectly despite the word 'bedridden' written all over those dark locks, Lovino had to wonder if Antonio was always that attractive, or if he was just starting to realize it for the first time.


	2. Someone to Confide in

**Title:** My Brother's Boyfriend.  
**Author:** SYNdicate 930.  
**Summary**: AU. Being in love with your childhood best friend, who also just happens to be your brother's boyfriend, is just asking for trouble. Especially if he's a clueless bastard. Spamano.

**Note:** I need your help! Who would you guys like to see **Gilbert** and **Francis** end up with?

And since I don't know what Ancient Rome's human name is (or if he was one) I'll just refer to him as Grandpa Rome LOL.

**Question:** Why do you call South Italy Lovino is this fic, but Romano in Building Blocks and Condom Boxes?  
**Answer:** I'm still fairly new to the Hetalia fandom, so human names aren't my forte. I hadn't realized that Romano wasn't S. Italy's human name until around the fourth chapter of Building Blocks, and decided that _fuck that_ I'm not going back and changing his name and continued using Romano instead of Lovino. So when I started _this_ fic, knowing his human name was Lovino and not Romano, I decided to do it right and use Lovino. And, uh, yeah. Tadah?~

**Chapter 2 – Someone to Confide in. **

Lovino could see his breath mingle with the cold air as he exhaled through his parted lips. Though it wasn't quite cold enough for snow to be falling or frost to grace the green grass of the nearby park he and Antonio were currently walking through, Lovino still didn't like it. It wasn't that he hated winter. He just seemed to always prefer the warmer and sunnier weather of summer. Whether or not one could believe it, summer light always heightened his mood while it seemed to decrease at the same rate the temperature dropped the closer the day drew to Christmas.

Sauntering through the park beside Antonio, who was busy chattering away over some movie he had seen on TV the other night, Lovino looked up to the sky with a small frown. The sun was barely peeking through the lightly colored grey clouds, almost as if hiding because it was shy; like an embarrassed girl after a haircut, not wanting to be seen in case of the unwanted attention.

To the right was an old play structure Lovino remembered playing on with Antonio when they were younger. He wondered where the modest sandbox they used to build castles in was before realizing they had taken it down a year or two ago. Now in its place stood a large metal jungle gym a handful of elementary students were playing on, laughing, smiling, having the days of their lives before the reality of life caught up to them in a sudden and harsh rush.

With his attention falling back and forth between his thoughts and the boy beside him, he glanced up at Antonio through his wide peripheral. There was endearing childish excitement and wonder exuding from those deep emeralds he called eyes. Despite the lack of sunlight to give them that gleam his orbs possessed, they somehow found a way to shine. From there, Lovino's eyes fell to the set of tempting chapped lips. When they got dry, Antonio licked them. Lovino felt a small blush rise to his face, as if seeing something he wasn't supposed to.

It'd been hours since they met up at the older boy's house, and they were now returning to Lovino's house for dinner. When they were finished eating, he figured Antonio could help him pack up for a school trip the following day with his school's jazz band. As forgetful as Antonio was, his forgetfulness came in handy as Lovino would always pick up whatever the Spanish boy seemed to be missing. It was a little habit they fell into when they were younger. Whenever Antonio forgot something at school, Lovino would remind him what it was he almost left behind, and quickly check to make sure he hadn't forgotten about it himself.

As they exited the park through the worn out gate beside a large oak tree, whose leaves had turned beautiful, warm shades of orange and red that now lay beneath the bottoms of their beat up sneakers, crunching from under his small strides, the Italian questioned and thought over his confusing feelings silently, frown deepening ever so slightly.

He had to be over thinking. Maybe if he approached this logically—Yes, that had to be it! Maybe if he related what he felt to a simple mathematic equation, he would be able to make sense of this all! Lovino thought long and hard. He added, subtracted, multiplied, found the coordinate pair, and even the slope intercept, but, in the end, he hadn't accomplished anything. If anything, he found himself stumbling ten steps backwards and scowled at the sidewalk before him, wondering how something as trivial and simple sounding as 'feelings' could be so frustratingly complex because, in comparison to calculus and physics Lovino naturally excelled at that most otherwise did poorly in, it had to be one of the only things that left him unanswered and baffled.

—**-—**

The boys arrived to Lovino's house to find it abandoned and lifeless. Resting upon the wooden railing at the bottom of the stair case lay a pink sticky note. On it, words were written in what appeared to be Feliciano's sissy hand-writing in even sissier looking purple ink. While Antonio made himself at home, kicking off his sneakers and hogging up all the space on the couch as he lied down on his side to watch some mindless Italian TV, Lovino read it under his breath as he toed off his dirty covered shoes as well.

**_"Grandpa Rome and I just went out to buy me some more art supplies. In case we aren't back to make you dinner, Grandpa left you money for pizza—"_** Lovino looked up to find two twenty-dollar bills lying lifelessly where he picked up the note. They must have been tucked away underneath safely. **_"—so don't worry about that! We'll be back ASAP. Love, Feli! :)"_**

He snorted at the doodle smiley face at the end of the note (it was just like Feliciano to do something like that) before crumpling it up and stuffing it into his pocket. He made sure to grab the money his grandfather left and made a move to reach for his cellphone on the way to the couch.

"Move." Lovino commanded, stopping in front of Antonio and blocking the latter's view of the television. "The fuck are you doing watching this? You don't even understand Italian."

"So? It sounds really cool."

"Move."

Antonio did nothing but groan lazily, not budging even an inch. Lovino raised a foot and kicked at his side with his heel. It was around the fifth kick that the Spanish boy sat up, knees bent as he took up two out of the three cushions of the worn out couch. Lovino flopped down, and Antonio rested his head upon the other boy's lap as he changed the channel.

Lovino couldn't tell why, but it felt a little weird. Even though Antonio had rested his head on him countless times before, at the moment, it seemed different. He didn't like what he was feeling, so he busied himself with his phone. Shaking his legs softly to get his friend's attention, Lovino asked, "Hey, what kind of pizza do you want? Feli and the old man left me money for food while they're out."

"Where'd they go?" Inquired Antonio as he rolled over onto his back to look Lovino in the eyes.

The boy shrugged, for some reason finding himself unable to meet the teen's emerald gaze. "They're buying art supplies for Feli and probably some other shit. Anyway, back to the pizza?"

"Someone's hungry." Antonio chuckled and then hummed thoughtfully. "Hmm… I'm down for whatever you want. Pizza is pizza."

"Should we just get the usual cheese and bacon?"

Antonio shrugged with a smile. "Haha, sure, why not?"

Lovino punched in the numbers to a nearby pizza parlor and ordered quickly. The boys had ordered from the place enough that the workers new immediately what 'the usual' referred to, and were knocking at Lovino's door just twenty minutes after. The Italian boy was feeling sluggish, and said, "Hey, bastard, go get the door."

"But I don't wanna."

"Come on, I ordered it, so that means it's your job to get it."

"But I'm tired."

"Damnit, Antonio." Lovino got up from the couch to retrieve the pizza mumbling a soft 'dumb bastard'. Twisting the doorknob, he pulled the door open and was greeted by one of the boys he recognized from school. In fact, he so happened to be one of Antonio's close friends.

"What's up, Lovino?" Came the boisterous voice of the one and only Gilbert Beilschmidt. He was dressed in a red, white, and black uniform, with a matching cap, and box of pizza in his hand. He was wearing his usual smug expression, his red eyes shining with over-flowing amounts of pride as usual. "Orderin' a pizza for one, huh?"

Before Lovino could reply, Antonio called lazily from his sprawled position on the couch. "I'm here!"

Gilbert craned his head into the doorway and smiled. "Heh, should've figured he'd be here. Haha, how's it hangin', 'Tonio? You look tired as fuck, man. Something the matter, you're never this sleepy looking."

"Eh. Just one of those lazy days, I guess." The boy shrugged and Gilbert stepped back.

Turning his attention back to Lovino, the German boy said, "Anyway, that'll be $13.00."

Lovino handed him a twenty and watched as Gilbert reached into his pocket to give the boy change. The Italian shrugged it off and told him to keep the change—To think of it as a tip of sorts. It wasn't really his money, so he didn't care whether or not he got change in return. Gilbert looked at the boy gratefully (mostly because he was poor at mental math and wasn't all too sure as to what he owed the boy) and said his goodbyes. He made sure to yell at Antonio, who waved goodbye with a friendly smile, and ran down the front steps quickly to make his next delivery.

Hopping into his car, he honked and shot Lovino a wide smile before speeding away recklessly. For a moment, Lovino stood in front of the open door, watching the German boy drive down the street horrifically.

It was nearly impossible to suppress a harsh laugh as Gilbert nearly knocked over Antonio's blue recycling bin down the road.

Just like his driving, Gilbert was an overall reckless person. He was a big risk-taker, who always seemed to think of the consequences of his actions right before he was hit with them. He had learnt that about the boy over the past years he'd be friends with him through Antonio. Sometimes Lovino would wonder if Gilbert was looking for a death sentence, what with the way he went about living life with little to no regard for his safety and sometimes the safety of those around him; which was another way of saying Antonio, Francis, and himself.

Lovino yawned softly as he closed the door and walked over to Antonio on the couch. The teen sat up immediately to flip open the pizza box and dig in as Lovino tossed him the white and red box softly on his way to the kitchen. He reached into the fridge for two cans of pop, and flopped onto the couch beside Antonio. The two ate in a not-so-quiet-silence as Antonio chattered on and on with a mouth full of food. Lovino had to admit, it wasn't the _most_ attractive he has ever seen him, but it was the almost childish air around the boy that still made it endearing.

"And then the car exploded into, like, a thousand pieces! Did you see that? Man, that was so cool!" Exclaimed Antonio with gleaming emeralds. Lovino pretended to listen as he nodded his head in false-understanding, too wrapped up in his thoughts and blatant staring.

—**-—**

One finished pizza box and over a dozen finished canned sodas later, the duo found themselves upstairs in Lovino's room helping said boy, who folded his clothes for the next week, pack for his upcoming band trip. Like always, Lovino had left it until last minute, figuring it wouldn't be that hard to throw some clothes into a suitcase. However, as he neatly folded some shirts and underwear, Antonio returned from his bathroom down the hall with his red toothbrush and toothpaste.

Lovino threw those into a little baggy along with a small plastic comb and dental floss before returning to folding cross-legged on his bed.

"Missing anything else?" Came Antonio from behind, who crawled onto Lovino's comfy mattress childishly. He sat close to the younger boy, resting his head upon the crook of Lovino's neck as he nuzzled his face into the teen's milky skin affectionately. A blush crawled to Lovino's face at the sudden contact, which was strange as he'd been in positions like this many, many times with him before. "Here, I'll help you fold that!"

Reaching to put an arm around Lovino's middle, he folded the boy's shirt on his lap for him. Though helpful, Lovino's face reddened incredulously. It had to be from the lack of space. It had to be it; why else would he have been so flustered?

Antonio carefully placed the shirt into the large suitcase, and removed his arm from around the younger boy. Lovino gulped. "Th-Thanks."

"Is that the last of it?" Asked Antonio. A wide smile broke out on his face as Lovino nodded, and he sighed in relief. "Thank God that's over and done with! I'm pretty sure you've got all the important stuff done, right?"

"Yupp. Clothes, dumb formal clothes for when we perform, toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, underwear, socks…" Lovino nodded. "Yupp. It's all here."

"Yeah! High five!" Antonio raised a hand expectantly. Lovino raised his own as well and high fived Antonio with a small grin. "We make a great team, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we do."

"So what's new with you, man?"

"The fuck? I just saw you the other day."

"So?

"The hell can possibly be new?"

"Well, you never know?" Antonio moved closer, if it was even possible. Lovino hadn't gotten used to the warmth that was Antonio's breath on his neck; cheeks still tinted a gentle shade of fuchsia. He squirmed just a tad in his dark hoodie, and his face was still a little flushed, but otherwise showed no signs of being effected by the boy's close proximity at all.

Lovino shook his head, no. "Nothing's new."

Antonio didn't seem to approve of this answer, as he pouted. "What, really? Nothing new at all? Man, you never tell me anything anymore—"

"Mainly because there's nothing new to tell you—"

"Like who you're crushing on—"

Lovino fumbled over his words a little, repressing the small waver in his voice that dare make itself head. "Because I'm not 'crushing on' anyone."

"Come on, Lovi. It's been, like, ten or something years, and you've never told me about liking anyone before. There's got to be someone's who's caught your eye."

"I've told you before, no." They'd go through this routine at least once a week—He'd bring up the topic of feelings and silly teenage romance, expecting Lovino to suddenly be hung up on someone the way Antonio always was. But, as they went about this that day, he thought over a couple things in his head. Maybe he had a tiny, itty bitty, _little_ crush on Antonio. Not a big one, but probably an incredibly insignificant one that would go away as fast as Antonio's weekly crushes seemed to.

"Man, that's no fun."

"Fuck you."

Antonio leaned away to look Lovino in the eye, lips quirked up in a gentle smile. "We're in high school, Lovi, you should be experimenting a little and dating! Even if you don't find your soul mate or any of that serious stuff, at least you get some experience? And if things don't work out, I'll always be here for you, you know."

It was the bright gleam and green depth in his eyes, and sincerity in his voice that made his heart clench that made him realize hypothetically, if he'd have a crush on Antonio, it wouldn't be as little as he'd thought.

Hypothetically, of course.

**—-—**

Lovino's grandfather had driven the boy to school the following morning, and decided to bring Feliciano to say goodbye to the boy as well. Naturally, Antonio came over to their house to say farewell. He was welcomed by Feliciano and his grandfather in the kitchen, who asked him if he wanted to come to the school as well while Lovino was busy showering upstairs. After they ate breakfast together, they left in Grandpa Rome's beat up minivan listening to the soft, up-beat music on the radio.

Being the little kid he always was, Feliciano called dibs on sitting shotgun, leaving Lovino and Antonio sitting in the middle seats behind without any protests. Unlike the elementary or middle school Lovino and Antonio attended that were incredibly nearby, that they could wake up late and probably still make it for the playing of the national anthem, their high school was much farther. Walking to and from school wasn't completely unbearable, as Antonio would rejoice in his friend's company with Lovino silently doing the same, but a long way regardless.

After sitting in the comfy, beaten down grey seats, Lovino felt himself grow sleepy. His eyes were becoming increasingly heavy, and there was absolutely no way he'd be able to stay awake. Catching on to his frequent yawning, Antonio offered his shoulder for Lovino to sleep on, on the way to school. He looked at the other boy as if he were crazy, but was too exhausted to reject.

Within a handful of seconds, Lovino was out cold. The world turned black; one minute they were pulling out of the driveway, and the next, they were parked in front of the school. Antonio helped Lovino load his suitcase and instrument onto the large greyhound bus as the latter hopped out of the car tiredly. He had his carry on backpack hanging off one shoulder, and a pillow in his arms. He could tell just by looking at the bus that it was going to be one hell of a long ride.

Standing in the cold morning air, Lovino said goodbye to his grandfather with a familial handshake and one-armed hug. His grandfather slipped him a couple condoms Lovino returned immediately, too embarrassed and flustered to really think straight as Feliciano launched himself at his brother for a breath-taking hug that squeezed all of the air out of Lovino's lungs.

As he struggled for breath after pushing him away, he turned to Antonio, who held his arms out, inviting Lovino to run into them. A little nervously, Lovino hugged the Spanish boy and inhaled deeply. Antonio smelled of oranges and cologne as he buried his face into the crook of his neck.

"You better tell me how everything goes when you come back, okay?" Instructed Antonio. Lovino grinned tiredly and nodded.

—**-—**

On the bus, Lovino sat with Gilbert's younger brother, Ludwig. At first glance, no one would have ever expected the boy beside him, who leaned into his seat with his muscular build hiding under his jacket and jeans as well as the serious expression resting on his mature face, to be the younger of the Beilschmidt brothers.

The last Lovino saw of him was in middle school, so suffice to say he was quite shocked over how hard puberty had hit him during his absence. He grew several inches, and his voice dropped considerably. As he looked out the dark window, Lovino remembered the time where his voice was lower and he stood as taller. Looking through the window's reflection to the boy beside him, he realized even his personality seemed to come out as older and much more mature than that of Gilbert's.

Sitting in silence with his cheap white earbuds blasting music into his ears, he tried to recall the last time he'd ever spoken to Ludwig. Though he was never as close to the boy as he was with Antonio—though he doubted anyone's friendship with him could even compare to the one he possessed with the Spaniard—he remembered them being on good terms. Or at least as good as you can get with Lovino.

Twisting in his seat, he pulled out his earbuds and paused the mellow song he'd been listening to. Maybe he'd strike up a conversation with him. They were friends before, so maybe they can be friends again?

"Hey, Ludwig," Lovino started, watching carefully as Ludwig's attention shifted from the movie playing on the ceiling entertainment system to him, his blue eyes stern and serious. "How are you?"

The two talked about the things going on in their lives and how they were doing since the day Lovino left middle school. Things didn't appear to change much with Ludwig. He began to work out, which was blatantly apparent as he discarded his jacket and stuffed it into his carry on backpack, his defined muscles incredibly intimidating in his dark t-shirt, and travelled a little before the school year started. He told Lovino of his trip back to Germany with Gilbert and his parents, and the way Gilbert found himself getting rejected in languages other than English.

"What about you?" Asked Ludwig. As expected, Lovino flew a string of curses at the German boy. Ludwig didn't seem fazed by any of it at all, his expression remaining a mixture of seriousness and indifference. It was how their relationship worked; Lovino would yell and swear at him, and tell him how much he hated him, but, in the end, never meant any of it. It was actually how all of Lovino's relationships with other people worked.

When he was done with his swearing, Ludwig continued. "I see you and Antonio are still very close. He seems like a nice guy—a little bit of a goof, but nice."

That's when it hit him. He remembered Ludwig being someone he was always capable of confiding in, so he thought maybe he could be the one he could talk to about Antonio. Ludwig was the perfect candidate. He was serious, meaning he would never laugh—which was sometimes unsettling, depending on the situation, and he was one of the most trustworthy and loyal people he'd ever met.

The boy was the type to keep a secret to the grave. _"Hmmm… Maybe I can tell him? If I told Gilbert or Francis, those two big mouths'll go and fucking blab to Antonio."_

"Lovino? Something wrong?"

"Oh, no." He shook his head. "I was just thinking about the bastard."

"Are you mad at him?"

Lovino gulped. He could totally trust him, he was sure of it. "Err… Not quite."

He watched Ludwig raise a brow and Lovino's voice dropped. "Fuck, uh, you can keep a secret, right?"

Ludwig nodded.


	3. Welcome Back

**Title:** My Brother's Boyfriend.  
**Author:** SYNdicate 930.  
**Summary**: AU. Being in love with your childhood best friend, who also just happens to be your brother's boyfriend, is just asking for trouble. Especially if he's a clueless bastard. Spamano.

**Note:** Slightly beta'd (I gave up at some point orz), so please forgive me for any mistakes and tell me what you think so far? Also, as of 21/04/13, Building Blocks will be updated soon (or at least within the next few days if not tonight) as well.~

For future reference (though, others will be added):

Ninth grade: Feliciano, Ludwig, Kiku  
Tenth grade: Lovino, Alfred,  
Eleventh grade: Antonio, Gilbert, Francis, Arthur  
Twelfth grade: None so far.

**Chapter 3 – Welcome Back**

_Thursday Night_.

"Hi, Lovi.~"

"How can you be so energetic so fucking late at night?" Seated against the headboard of his hotel bed, the rich, dark violet of the bed sheets separating his thigh and the heated bottom of his beloved lap top, Lovino crossed his arms as Antonio waved to him. Just a night before the awards ceremony would be held for all of the participating bands with the festival and week quickly coming to an end, Antonio thought it be a good idea to webcam with his best friend. They had been texting each other frequently and Antonio only found it fair that they finally see each other in person, even if it wasn't in person.

With a smile, Antonio got up from his computer chair to change out of his clothes for the day as he said, "Huh? Can't a guy be happy to see his best friend?"

"You're being too—" Lovino nearly choked on his spit at the sight of Antonio stripping out of his t-shirt, revealing his ever growing arm muscles and stomach slowly maturing into washboard abs. Sometimes Lovino would forget the age difference that separated them, though not a very large one, and that Antonio's body had already started the onslaught that was the height of puberty, and grew to become conditioned after all those sports and practices he attended after school—all of which Lovino would study through up in the bleachers as he awaited the tradition that was walking home with that overly happy ball of energy. "—happy, you b-bastard."

Red appeared on the cheeks of his face like paint to an unwilling canvas, and he brought his hands up to cover them instantaneously. What was this feeling all of a sudden? He'd seen Antonio shirtless countless times between their childhood and life as of now, why was he getting so flustered?

"You can never be too happy!" Replied Antonio, who was making his way around his room, throwing in his clothes into the hamper in the corner by his closet without a shirt on to cover his bare chest. Lovino watched the way his muscles moved under his lightly-tanned skin as he rolled his shoulders and head restlessly, stretching after a long day at school. "Man, I think I might've pulled something during soccer practice today. My shoulders and back are aching like crazy."

"Maybe they'll feel better if you put a f-freaking shirt on." Lovino stuttered as he watched Antonio, standing in the middle of his room, reaching down to slip out of his blue jeans. His face turned a fierce shade of scarlet, and he shouted, "I said put on a shirt, not get completely naked, you stupid bastard!"

"I will, I will, don't get your panties in a knot," Antonio joked with a smile. Lovino tried to look away as Antonio turned around, his back facing the webcam as he bent over to step out of his jeans and then straighten to fold them neatly. Lovino was growing hotter by the second just seeing him—what in the world was happening! Returning to his computer chair, Antonio was fixed with a sharp glare. "Hmm? What is it?"

"Aren't you going to change for bed?"

"But I sleep in my boxers, though?"

"No, I mean aren't you going to put on a shirt?" Lovino said, daring himself to look away from the Spanish boy's mirthful expression to fix his flushed gaze to that toned upper body and broad shoulders he remembered being much smaller and fragile looking ten years back.

"I don't normally sleep with a shirt on. Besides, I was going to ask if there are any bruises or cuts on my back. I took a tumble during soccer today, and I just wanted to make sure so I can get my mom to treat them," Antonio answered. "You know, in case they get infected because we always end up dirty after practice and games?"

"Oh, okay then?" It sounded fair enough, so Lovino said nothing as Antonio turned around in his chair, positioning himself so the back of his seat would not get in the way of his webcam's line of sight. Lovino bit his lip. Either Antonio's muscles were really defined, or he had one Hell of a webcam, for what he saw made something in the pit of his stomach flutter—butterflies dancing across here and there, sending a little shiver down his spine—as Antonio looked over his shoulder with a chuckle.

Smiling, Antonio said, "Nothing wrong? Whew! I was afraid I was really beat up today."

Beside Lovino, Ludwig slipped into their shared bed with a yawn much to his chagrin; he had to share a bed with Ludwig after the teachers realized there were too many boys this year than last, and not enough rooms to keep boys with boys and girls with girls, what with the festival's growing popularity in schools and neighboring cities all over making hotel bookings unbelievably difficult—though, being with Ludwig was better than sharing with that annoying American boy in his grade or British kid just a year older in the bed next to him arguing together. Lovino shifted further away from the German boy in response, wondering if the British boy with the thick eyebrows knew Antonio. Something about him seemed oddly familiar, though; Lovino couldn't place his finger on it.

"Oh? Is that Gilbert's little brother?" Said Antonio as Ludwig accidentally moved into the camera's view. The Spanish boy grinned and began to wave frantically, "Hey, hey, hey, Ludwig!"

"He can't hear you," said Lovino, "I have my ear buds in."

"Take 'em off, I wanna say hi!"

"Fuck, fine, hold on."

Antonio's voice was booming. It made the blonde's shoulders jump just as he was getting comfortable. "_Luuuuudi_!"

"Don't call me that," Replied the teen, who looked over to the digital clock on the nightstand between the two beds. 10:30 PM, and a goal of waking up at 5:30 AM. "Antonio, go to sleep."

"Huh? Why? It's so early!"

"Is that Antonio?" Called one of the other boys Lovino was forced to room with. If memory served him right, the American boy with the glasses and cowlick was Alfred. "Yooooo, Antonio!"

"Is that Alfred? Turn the laptop!" Said Antonio excitedly.

Lovino frowned. "Stop telling me what to do!"

"Please?" Antonio pleaded childishly, tilting his head downward and looking up from under his lashes. He looked foolish, and Lovino meant to point it out before Alfred belly-flopped out of his bed into the space between he and Ludwig. Both boys yelped in surprise, and Lovino fumbled with keeping his laptop from falling off his lap with a deep frown.

"Hey, man!" Greeted Alfred in a cheerful tone. Lovino swore he heard the British boy sigh, irritated. "How's soccer practice? Did I miss out on a lot?"

Antonio shook his head. "Not at all! We've just been rough-housing a lot."

Alfred repositioned himself against the wooden headboard beside Lovino, who leaned away uncomfortably—The boy was much too close! "That sounds just like the guys!" he chuckled and proceeded to joke around and make blatant innuendos at the teen's lack of clothing, "Did I interrupt something between you and Lovino over here?"

"Interrupt something?" Antonio tilted his head in that naïve, clueless way of his.

"You know, like—"

"Okay, time to go lie down in your own fucking bed!" Lovino cut the blonde off with his palm against the boy's face, pushing him away and off the bed. Alfred rolled over Ludwig, who groaned under the sudden weight in annoyance, and watched as he fell to the floor with a loud 'thud.'

"Bloody Hell, Alfred, get in bed and stop making so much noise, we'll get in trouble if you don't," Said the British boy.

"Fine, it's not like that's the first time I've heard you say that." Alfred climbed into bed beside him, and Lovino watched the British boy's face turn as red as a tomato.

Antonio snorted at the familiar voices before Lovino inserted the end of his ear buds cord into his laptop. "I see you're rooming with Arthur too, huh?" He chuckled, "Man, he's so much calmer now, I remember when he used to bully me."

"Bully you?"

"Don't you remember?"

Lovino's eyes widened in understanding, "Now I remember."

"Be quiet and go to sleep." Chimed in Ludwig, who was curled up on his side.

"Fine. I gotta go. There's this awards thing we have to go to early in the morning."

"Oh, okay," Antonio waved, "Goodnight and good luck tomorrow, Lovi!"

"Night, bastard."

—**-—**

_Saturday evening_.

After an astonishing performance of perfected and practiced harmony of Lovino's beloved jazz band and being awarded with first place medals for their achievement as best in their grade level (they fell into the category of high school bands) over the past few days, Lovino spent the remaining day in the hotel by himself. With their performance on their second day and award ceremony just the day prior, he and the jazz band found themselves at a loss for words and what to do before leaving later at night.

Having held the jazz festival in a mountainous sort of town with an average temperature a below Lovino's liking year round, they were stationed in a tourist-attraction sort of area. There was always something going on; the boutiques and specialty shops and restaurants that went up and down the tilted road provided a glorious seen of the tall, white mountains and those who inhabited the area at its rocky feet. Not to mention the street performers brought an added boost of life to the already colorful yet quaint town. Some of the other boys in the band invited Lovino to go out for a walk through the town with him, which ultimately meant the search for a pretty girl was on for what appeared to be the thirteenth time so far.

"Hey, wanna come out with us? We're going to be around town—_you know_."

Unfortunately, Lovino did know. But he declined and was left alone in his room. After all the explosive crescendos that had been going on during the week, Lovino swore he was close to completely losing his hearing. "It's okay, I don't want to. I'm tired—Ludwig made us all wake up freakin' early morning." The yawn Lovino faked was enough to have the boys closing the door behind them as they trotted down the stairs at the end if the hall. He hoped they wouldn't get into too much trouble or bother any poor girls from other schools too much—they were rather notorious for being dangerously flirtatious and big heartbreakers, or at least that was how he remembered Gilbert describing them one day.

He wondered if staying back was a good idea several minutes after their rowdy departure, but gave a small shake to his head. Girls had never been a primary interest to him, nor had he ever possessed the urge to be with one in a way that was not considered platonic. It seemed that girls were always on a teenage boy's mind—all except his. It was a strange thought; for all his life there was never a single girl who could interest him the way girls continuously had for Antonio. The boy was as immature and perverse as the rest of them—but by all means was he the nicest (and, dare he say _handsomest_) boy Lovino had ever met.

With Antonio's face in his mind, numerous questions and undetermined feelings began to rise in the pit of his flat stomach. During the bus ride and few days, he had spent several occasions with Ludwig, catching up and talking through the mystery that surrounded the growing, ambiguous feelings Lovino possessed for the Spanish teen. It was like they were back in middle school—an odd duo and friendship, but buds nonetheless.

All Ludwig could say was he was… He was… Lovino could not stand the thought of it!

He gave a rough shake of his head, as if to dispense his head of the unwanted thoughts. Ludwig was a boy of logic and reason; room for error in the things he said and done was frighteningly minimal, with little to no mistakes in all that he ever dabbled in. But he couldn't possibly be right! Lovino refused to accept it. Whether it was his easily-bruised ego or gut, Lovino knew the truth, and that couldn't possibly have been it.

At first, the idea—the thought of having been in love with someone and not know—made sense, especially to someone like Lovino, who had yet to fully realize what it felt like to love and be in love. But, to not know for so long? That could not have been possible. No one knew him better than himself, and he did not like the way it made him appear the fool, blind to his own feelings. Lovino took pride in his understanding of everything and anything, so, if he was capable of understanding and learning high school-level physics during his early middle school years, then surely he would have been able to detect the blooming of any sort of romantic feelings. He was sure of it.

Lovino hopped onto his bed and pulled his laptop from its place on the wooden nightstand by his bed. Before leaving, he made sure to download the latest episode of that Italian drama he blamed for leaving him in such a confused state. He figured that, by the overwhelming similarities he found between her story and his own situation, he could use his findings from each episode to help himself.

Due to his scientific and math oriented background, Lovino was keen in observations, and his data and conclusions were never wrong. One episode was enough to make the boy question himself, so maybe another would help him sort through the ordeal completely. Putting in his ear buds, he looked past the screen of his laptop to look around the empty hotel room before clicking to full screen and play. He had meant to watch this on the bus ride at the start of the week—while he was sitting behind everyone while they slept on the long, early morning bus ride to hide the shame that coiled in his chest from watching something as girly as a _that_.

With the coast clear, Lovino pressed play with little worry and watched intently, bent on an answer to his question. If the series had brought him this far, it would provide him with an answer.

"What are you watching?" Lovino jumped, nearly dropping his laptop onto the floor beside the bed. The jolt made Ludwig jump as well.

"You fucking bastard!" Shouted Lovino, who whipped his head to look over his shoulder, ripping his ear buds out of the laptop. "You fucking scared me! I thought you left with everyone else to spend the last night out looking for chicks!"

"What? I've been in the bathroom taking a shower the whole time!" Ludwig shouted back, motioning towards the towel around his shoulders and damp hair. The sounds of Lovino's drama were free for all to hear now, and Ludwig couldn't help but avert his attention from the red-faced boy. "What're you watching? I didn't know you understood Italian."

"I _am_ Italian, you bastard," Lovino said, his rapidly beating heart slowing. "And that's none of your business."

"Well, Gilbert and I are German, and he doesn't have the slightest clue as to how to speak in our language. I figured you were smart enough to understand a respectable amount, but I didn't know you were fluent enough to watch Italian TV without subtitles."

"Okay, so now you know. Good observation. Now leave me alone, this is important," He turned back to his laptop.

"Is this that drama you told me about?"

Lovino's shoulders stiffen. "I told you about that?"

"You told me everything. It was the last thing you mentioned to me before you fell asleep on the bus," Answered Ludwig, who made his way around the bed to sit on the edge of Alfred and Arthur's bed, drying his hair with his towel gently. "Must you resort to such an _odd_ way of solving your problem?"

"Hey, it's not 'odd'! _You're _fucking odd." Exclaimed Lovino, irritated.

"Can't you just accept what I've told you and move on?"

"No, I can't, because you're a wrong potato eater!"

Ludwig sighed. "Suit yourself."

They sat in silence for several minutes as Lovino made to plug his white ear buds back into the side of his laptop. When Ludwig made no move to leave after his hair came to dry itself with some help of the small, white towel, Lovino couldn't help but break the uncomfortable silence that fluttered between the neighboring beds. "Well? Your hair's fine and you're all showered. Aren't you going to go out now?"

"I don't recall ever saying that I was planning to spend the last night of the festival out; I'd much rather stay in and relax. Waking up early to watch shows and play in clinics in the morning—I think I deserve a little rest before I come back to my brother." Ludwig answered as he reached over to grab the remote on the pillow beside him. He turned on the large TV, and began to channel surf slowly, inspecting each channel for ten seconds before stopping to watch the last bit of the News, and then switching to the Science channel.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Tell me how that show of yours goes."

"I fucking will and prove you wrong."

One hour later, Lovino sat with his lips pursed as he brought the screen of his laptop down. Ludwig looked over to him curiously, "Something the matter?"

"The episode just ended."

"I see. How was it?"

"… You're fucking bastard."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I hate you!" Fuming, Lovino got up and stomped his way to the bathroom petulantly.

"I still don't understand—"

"I'm going to take a shower."

The bathroom door slammed behind the teen loudly before Ludwig could respond. He sighed once more. "He sure has an odd way of admitting he's wrong."

—**-—**

The conversation the two had that night as they packed up and boarded the bus was a difficult one, for Lovino refused to come to terms with the feelings that lingered within that heart of his; a blazing fire surrounded by such ice, even its flame could not melt its strong barrier. The thought of having been in love so deeply and for so long was preposterous.

Lovino liked to think he understood himself as clearly and well as he did his books and school work, so the beginnings of the first spark of inferiority began to flicker within his ever superior heart.

Riding back home now on the large bus, Lovino stared out into the night with the occasional orange of a streetlight or car passing quietly. Beside him, Ludwig was sound asleep with blue earplugs to block out any sort of chatter, and, by the looks of it, Lovino guessed he was the only person awake other than the elderly bus driver and teachers who had been chaperones for the trip seated in the front, whispering and chatting in gentle-tones together about how great the trip had been this year and trouble the boys had gotten into. Lovino sighed. Good thing he hadn't gone out with them. There was also mention of his performance and solo in one of their pieces, which his ego accepted openly and proudly before their conversation ventured into other territories such as marking and odd staff gossip.

He was disinterested in listening any further. In the small, square televisions that hung over head played what appeared to be The Wizard of Oz, but he'd seen it so many times as a child, he couldn't find it in him to watch for the umpteenth time in his life. And, unfortunately for him, Lovino was unable to sleep. He blamed the uncomfortable bus seats and their inability to recline like those in airplanes, but he knew it was much more than the awkward, up-right seat he was stuck in for the next few hours. No matter how hard he tried to free himself of his thoughts, there was no escaping them or the image of Antonio in all of his sunny glory.

So, maybe there was a little more to his feelings than he would have liked to admit, but it didn't mean a thing. From what Antonio had taught him, crushes were little, insignificant little romantic feelings that lasted short periods of time—something closer to shallow infatuation—so he rested assure that whatever he was feeling would go away as quickly as all of Antonio's little crushes did as well.

But memory seemed to disprove his theory as did scientists have done to others in history, for, as long as he could remember, he'd always felt the same way about Antonio. Lovino could not imagine feeling or seeing Antonio in any other way; whatever floated around in his chest every time he saw him was all he was capable of. Lovino was being foolish; letting the boy take so much of his time like this.

Antonio, Antonio, Antonio. Somehow, for some reason, Lovino found himself able to fall asleep with the image of Antonio's face fresh in his mind. Maybe he had ought to tell Antonio. After all, there was no one he trusted—or remotely cared for—as much as that idiot.

When he awoke, they were parked in the school and the sun was starting to rise. The dark sky loomed over them in navies and oranges with hints of lovely peach. The sight, though exquisite, went to waste as all Lovino could hear was the hurried rustling and movement from the other students as they rushed out of the bus to their awaiting loved ones. Lovino nudged Ludwig roughly in the side.

"Hey, potato bastard, wake up, we're at school." Ludwig rubbed at his eyes and got out of his seat. Lovino followed and the two took their bags out of the overhead compartments.

Offering a small 'thank you' to the bus driver, Lovino stepped out of the narrow bus door and took a quick glance at the parking lot before walking over to the side of the bus and taking out his suitcase. Positioned towards his far left, he saw his grandfather's car, but it was empty. Furrowing his brows, he took another look around, the wheels of his dark suitcase rolling against the pavement noisily.

Lovino was taken by surprise by the strong arms that grabbed him from behind and swung him around as he dropped his bag onto the dusty ground and released the plastic handle of his suitcase. "Welcome back, Lovi!" Sang Antonio as Grandpa Rome stood just a few feet behind the duo with a grin.

"H-Hey, put me down!" Cried Lovino, blushing. "Hey, you bastard, this isn't fucking funny!"

"Come on, lighten up." Antonio put the boy down, but by no means made any move to release the Italian boy's slender waist as he rested his chin upon his best friend's shoulder lovingly. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

_Yes_. "Hell no!"

"How cruel!" Antonio feigned hurt, dramatically crying aloud as he pulled Lovino close. Damn the boy's affectionate disposition for leaving his face aflame!

Seeing enough, Grandpa Rome picked up Lovino's dropped bag and suitcase with a chuckle. Oh how boys will be boys! "C'mon no, you two, Feli should be done making us breakfast."

"Come on, come on! I'm starving and I'm sure you are too!" Antonio said to Lovino with a smile. With a yelp, Lovino felt himself being hoisted onto Antonio's shoulder. This frightened him greatly.

"What are you a caveman!?" Shouted Lovino. With quivering fists, he began to beat at the boy's back furiously, his cheeks all but darkening into a crimson that put rubies to shame. "I can get to the car on my own! There was something I needed to tell you, but I won't until you put me down!"

"Don't be such a poor sport, Lovi. You must be tired from such a long ride! I'm just helping out my best friend. Besides, I thought we were supposed to share everything with each other—we are friends, _right_?" Lovino could hear the pout in his voice.

After giving one last struggle, but to no avail, Lovino was able to admit defeat. "Fine, I'll tell you later. And if you drop me on my face, I'll drop you on yours."

"Of course, of course." Chuckled Antonio.

The conversation in the car was uncomfortable and painfully irritating. Being the nosy, old man he knew his grandfather to be, Lovino dodged and denied every inappropriate accusation shot and finger pointed his way. Unlike Grandpa Rome, who was known to be promiscuous back in the day but remained the same old pervert, Lovino was immune to the female charm and curves.

Lovino fancied things such as science and books and math, not the way women walked, talked, and looked. Lost in the mindless rambling of his grandfather as he recalled his glory days and spoke of his many escapades he had with women, the boy realized that, despite the lack of outward interest he possessed, there were things he did, in fact, prefer in other people. Despite himself, Lovino liked people who could balance his negativity with their unique positivity and bring him out of that icy shell of his; who could tell him apart from his brother; who could tell when he was angry or not; who would always be there; someone reliable—someone just like _Antonio_.

Pursing his lips, Lovino was seated in the front beside his grandfather. Using the reflection of the dusty rear view mirror between them, he saw the Spanish boy listening intently. He loved hearing Grandpa Rome's stupid stories and memories because, even to this day, the old geezer was still the young man he was all those years ago in heart. Not many old people nowadays were able to keep their youthful fire burning quite like Grandpa Rome.

He sighed to himself. Lovino had yet to find a proper way of speaking to Antonio about all that he had thought and came to realize over the past week or so. But there was a part of his conscious that feared the moment Lovino was done speaking, that he would leave. After all, they were both _guys_. While Lovino hadn't the slightest problems as, though never spoken of much, growing up, no one ever told him what was considered—or what those outside his household thought to be—'_right'_ and '_wrong'_.

Love was love, no matter who it was from or given to, or, at least that was how Lovino saw it. His grandmother was not his mother, but it never stopped him from loving her as though she was and would have if his mother hadn't died while he was still so young.

When he arrived at the house, his grandfather offered to take all his bags and bring them up to his room, leaving he and Antonio to enter the house together while Grandpa Rome took a brief moment to clean out the trunk of his car. "So, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Asked Antonio with a smile as they walked up the front steps slowly. The duo stopped at the front door for a moment as Lovino fished around his sweater pocket for his keys.

Lovino bit his lip. He couldn't understand why he was so nervous. It was not like he was confessing to him. "You better not laugh, okay?" Antonio nodded obediently. Taking a deep breath, he said as he pulled out his key, "It's really fucking stupid, really. You're probably going to laugh even though you said you wouldn't."

"Don't worry, I promise I won't." Said Antonio with a warm smile. There was an excited little gleam to his green eyes Lovino couldn't help but note. He was like his child-self, an eager one.

"Well, I think I might have feelings for y—"

Just as he brought the key to its respective whole in the door, the heavy wood swung open, and, with a smile, there stood Feliciano before launching himself forward with open arms. "Welcome back, I've missed you so much!" His eyes shut and he braced himself, but there was no impact or the feel of his brother squeezing the air out of his lungs, only the color draining from his face at the sight of Antonio's arms around Feliciano's waist as they kissed when Lovino opened his eyes. And so, the the first spark of inferiority began to flicker within his ever fragile heart.


End file.
